The Bull Rider's Christmas Baby Page 5

  “I was going to say surreal, but your word works, too.” Since they shared the porch’s only seat, necessity forced his thigh against hers. He wore jeans and a T-shirt. She’d changed into khaki shorts and a pink maternity tank that managed to all at once be sexy and demure. Their shoulders brushed as they shifted position. The sensation was electrifying—and all too reminiscent of the night that had brought them to their current predicament.

  He cleared his throat and stood.

  “Hard as I try,” he said, “I can’t wrap my head around what’s happened. You showing up at my place. Pregnant.” Worse yet, his body hadn’t gotten the memo that he wasn’t supposed to still be attracted to her. “Now sick and forced to stay.”

  “I know.”

  Ambling off the porch, trying to hide his limp, he took another drag from his beer before turning the chick en and brushing on more of his famous sweet sauce he usually reserved for special occasions.

  Edging sideways, she raised her feet onto the swing, hugging her knees. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry about you missing your holiday rodeo—and any others, too. If you have a miraculous recovery, please feel free to leave me in the housekeeper’s care. That way, once I have the baby, I can head home and for you, it’ll be like I’ve never been here.”

  “Way to make a man feel needed.” He lowered the lid on the grill.

  “Of course you are.”

  Shaking his head, he laughed. “You’re some piece of work.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  The fact that she saw no potential problem with her plan to take their baby off to Baltimore and rarely see him again irked Cash to no end. Even better, it put his attraction for Wren into perspective. What he felt for her was physical—nothing more. “The chicken will be ready in about twenty minutes. I’m going to make a salad.”

  “Need help?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “Cash…” She rose, hugging herself as if she were chilled. “When I decided to try finding you, I’d hoped we could be friends. This afternoon, over ice cream, I thought we’d made giant strides toward that end. Now I’m getting the sense that we’re right back where we started.”

  Why, he couldn’t say, but her statement struck him as asinine.

  Turning his back on her, he went inside. He had developed a major soft spot for Wren, but then she’d reminded him that her real name was Miss Independence. She didn’t need him, or anyone else for that matter. If it hadn’t been for her high blood pressure, she’d have long since put her sweet behind on an eastbound plane.

  Unfortunately, she followed. “Think about it. Like it or not, we’ll now be sharing birthdays and holidays and milestones like first words and steps and graduations. Do you really want to spend all of those precious moments wearing a scowl?”

  What he wanted was never to have been put in this situation, but that was a moot point. He couldn’t put his finger on why, but he was suddenly mad as hell at the woman. Not about the baby. He’d been the one who’d purchased a faulty condom. But dammit, he’d lived twenty-seven years as a carefree bachelor and he wasn’t even ready to have kids, let alone a ready-made, move-in wife.

  Rummaging in the fridge for the prepackaged Caesar salad they’d picked up at the store, he found it, then conked his head on the top shelf as he straightened. “Damn!”

  “You all right?” Her voice brimmed with soft concern. As if she genuinely cared about his well-being. At his side, she fished her fingers through his hair. “Let me have a look.”

  “I’m fine,” he said, drawing away. It further irked him that she was being nice while he struggled for base line civility. “Just hurts like a son of a—well, you know.”

  She closed the refrigerator door. “Since you don’t need help with your head, want me to make the salad?”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  “And?” Leaning against the counter’s edge, she fold ed her arms.

  “You should be sitting.” He took a glass bowl from the cabinet alongside the stove. “Doing a good job of growing my baby.”

  After a long pause and expression hot enough to start a barn fire, she got all up in his face. “Look here, Cash Buckhorn, I’ve had just about all I care to take of you blowing hot and then cold and your asinine, archaic pregnancy observations. Either you straighten up or I’m figuring out a way to safely hightail it back to Baltimore. It might be rough going, but nothing could be as bad as living with you like this.”

  Chapter Five

  “Truce?” Wren glanced up from the book she was reading to see Cash at her bedroom door, waving a few sheets of toilet paper. He looked so ridiculous, she didn’t have the heart to stay mad, especially since she’d skipped Cash’s barbecued chicken and she was now starving. “We happen to be fresh out of white flags.”

  “Okay, truce,” she said, resting her novel on her lap.

  When he entered the room, all the oxygen left. The night was warm, with crickets singing outside open windows. Cash wore no shirt and his blond curls were a rummaged-through mess. His sleepy-sexy grin made it impossible for her to stay mad.

  Perched on the foot of the bed, he said, “Sorry for earlier. Not sure what got into me.”

  “Probably the same initial rush of frustration and apprehension and excitement I’ve already been through.” Smiling, she added, “You forget, I’ve already had a while to accept the inevitable.”

  “So? How did you work it out?” Looking away and then back, he admitted, “Straight up, I’m angry with you, but I don’t know why.”

  “Do you resent me showing up on your doorstep, pretty much taking over your life?” Adjusting the pillows behind her, she leaned forward.

  “Oddly enough, no. I don’t think that’s it.”

  “Then why?” With their new forced proximity, she needed to know what was broken between them in order to fix it. But then, seeing as how there was no “them” outside one wild night, maybe that was the problem.

  “I’m miffed you waited six months to tell me I’m going to be a father. What? Was I so horrible to be with you couldn’t bear to see me again?”

  Tears stung her eyes. “I already told you, I prefer handling things on my own.”

  “Our baby isn’t an item on your to-do list.”

  “I never said it was.”

  Shaking his head as though he was exasperated, he turned to leave.

  Wren called out, “Please, stay.”

  He stopped, but didn’t face her. “Why?”

  “Because I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I should have. But regardless, you deserved to be along for the ride, start to finish.” She grinned.

  “And I’m damned good-looking.” He turned and sat next to her on the bed, every spellbinding, muscular ripple on his chest entirely too close for comfort.

  “Wh-what?”

  “Admit it.”

  “I will not.” Even if it was true.

  “You owe me that much.”

  “Why? Are we back to your bruised ego again? Because if you’re worried about something ridiculous like I didn’t find you attractive enough to be in my life, then you’re certifiable.”

  “But in a hunky sort of way, right?”

  His expression suddenly held such genuine concern, she couldn’t help but laugh.

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “It is to me,” she said with another giggle. “How are you going to be a father when the only thing you care about is the continued worship of you?”

  “That’s not true. Is it so wrong to want a little validation?”

  No. It was something she’d secretly yearned for her entire life. “Okay, for what it’s worth, you are easily the most heartbreakingly handsome cowboy stud I’ve ever seen. If you hadn’t been, I never would’ve slept with you.”

  “Thank you.” He winked. “It’s about time you admitted it.”

  “Beast!” she cried, giving that gorgeous chest of his a swat. “Are you ever going to feed me? Or are you just going to st
and there admiring yourself?”

  “THIS IS THE ONE PLACE in town I’ve never been.” When Cash had agreed to take Wren to the library, he hadn’t planned on going inside, but now that he had, he found it wasn’t half-bad. Bond money had newly remodeled the space to be light and airy with skylights and plenty of picture windows overlooking the town duck pond. Potted plants filled every corner and the children’s area with its thick blue carpet, yellow furniture and green-eggs-and-ham wall mural looked straight from the pages of Dr. Seuss.

  “You’re kidding?” Wren said, heading straight for a spinning rack loaded with more of her pirate books.

  “Nope. In fact, I’ve made it a mission to stay away. Many women have tried coercing me in here, but all until you have failed.”

  Hands on what was left of her hips, she cocked her head, spilling her cute ponytail over her right shoulder. Her gray eyes were bright, her complexion glowing—he’d have been hard-pressed to find a more attractive woman. Not that he’d ever tell her. The house wasn’t big enough to hold both their egos should she realize her own level of attractiveness. “You are so making that up.”

  “You got me.” He cracked a smile. “But if you hurry, we’ll have time for the lunch special at Ron’s.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Best hamburger in the state. It’s out by the toll road, but well worth the drive.”

  Glancing at the cover of a book and then the back, she said, “I’m still full from breakfast.”

  “Then as a favor to me for coming here, you can at least sit while I eat.”

  Sighing, she agreed.

  “What do you see in these?” He grabbed one showing a guy wearing jeans and chaps and a woman spilling half out of her prairie dress.

  She dived for another book. “Adventure, a smidge of history and loads of romance.”

  Making a face, he noted, “Couldn’t you have all of that with a real-live man instead of just reading about it?”

  “I don’t have time for a real man.”

  He gave her a dirty look.

  “Except, of course, for you.”

  “That’s better.”

  “Seriously, though…” Her latest pick featured a castle. “Until I have a spare moment for real-life romance, books carry me through. You might give them a try.”

  “Me?” He laughed. “I could have a date in the next hour.”

  “True, but with someone you wholly want to be with? A woman who feeds your mind and spirit? Do you plan on spending the rest of your life in pursuit of the eternal party?”

  Hell, yes. Since when had fun been declared a bad thing? “What’s it matter to you?” he said. “You’ll soon be gone. Besides, you don’t even know me.”

  “What little I do know, I discovered on a one-night stand.”

  “And seems to me you weren’t opposed to our night.”

  “I never said I was.” Blushing furiously, she looked away. “All I meant was that sooner or later, that kind of outing will eventually lose its thrill.”

  He coughed. “Speak for yourself.”

  Though he’d been teasing, Wren didn’t look amused. “You know what I mean.”

  He did, but since he had no intention of marrying, he failed to see how in his case a lofty ideal such as finding a woman to feed his mind and soul applied.

  Clearing his throat, he asked, “We about done here?”

  “SURE YOU’RE UP FOR THIS?” Sunday afternoon on their way into Cash’s mother’s home, he took her hand for a brief squeeze. Though there hadn’t been tension between them, there also hadn’t been a whole lot of meaningful conversation since their library trek. The hour drive to Tulsa to visit Cash’s neighbor, Delores, had been even worse.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” Forcing a deep breath, Wren tried believing her words. Truth was, her stomach was in knots, her ankles were swollen and more than anything she’d have liked to be lounging by the pool with her latest read. While Doc Haven hadn’t placed her on total bed rest, the worse she felt, the more she feared losing her last bit of independence.

  “You don’t look it.”

  “Thanks.” Just what she needed was Mr. Handsome to confirm her suspicion that she looked like crap. Though she’d been with Cash nearly two weeks, she hadn’t encountered his mother again. The thought of the older woman once again urging her to marry, to enter into a lifelong relationship with a man she hardly knew, was too much to comprehend. Wren understood that in sharing a child, she and Cash would be irrevocably linked, but that was vastly different from being legally linked.

  “Hey…” He drew her into a hug. “You’re beautiful. Really, truly pretty. I just meant that I can tell you’re having a rough day.”

  She tried pushing him away, but he held firm. “You’re not going anywhere until you slow down your breathing. Are you really this upset over sharing a meal with my family?”

  “Yes—no,” she said against his chest. “I don’t understand why I’m reacting like this. My heart’s beating a mile a minute and…” She held on to him for dear life.

  “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”

  “I don’t know why, but your mom’s opinion means something to me. It makes no sense. I’ve never had parents, so why would I care what your mother thinks?”

  His fingers gentle beneath her chin, he raised her gaze to meet his. “Mom told me that—”

  “You and your mother talked about me?” Horrified didn’t begin to cover the emotions surging through her.

  “Relax. She understands how important our baby is to you—that you’ll finally have a family. Do you think seeing me close to my family has stirred up feelings for you?”

  “I don’t know… Maybe. I just want to feel normal again, but the more pregnant I get, the more messed up I seem to be.”

  “You do a good job of hiding it.” He kissed her forehead. “Most days you only seem mildly crazy—nowhere near certifiable.”

  Growling, she tried pushing away again, but he wasn’t letting go. And, oddly enough, though she’d never verbally admit it, she didn’t want him to.

  “SO HERE CASH WAS,” Cash’s oldest brother, Dallas, said to their middle brother, Wyatt, “drunk off what had to have been half a keg when he…”

  Georgina leaned toward Wren. “How about we leave my boys to their tall tales while we go for a garden stroll?”

  “Uh, okay.” After enduring a family meal including Dallas’s rambunctious five-year-old twin girls and their nanny, the last thing Wren needed was more awkward conversation.

  Trailing after the Buckhorn matriarch, Wren focused on slowing her pulse. As long as she held firm to her convictions, nothing Georgina said could hurt her. She was a grown woman with every right to live her life as she wanted.

  Exiting the home through French doors transported Wren to a world that felt more like a European wonderland than Oklahoma. Everywhere she looked were roses and ivy-covered trellises and gurgling fountains. The sweet scent of snapdragons mingled with freshly cut grass so lush it could’ve been living velvet.

  “Aside from my kids and grandbabies,” Georgina said, “this is my passion. It gets so dry here in the summer that sometimes I water three times a day. Dallas says if there’s ever another Oklahoma dust bowl my garden will be to blame.”

  “It’s amazing,” Wren said, fighting a childlike urge to kick off her shoes and run barefoot down winding stone paths. “Outside coffee-table books, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Pausing at a covered seating area featuring wicker rockers with sunny yellow cushions, Georgina gestured for Wren to have a seat.

  After a few moments of awkward silence, Georgina said, “Cash informed me I owe you an apology.”

  “Oh?” Fussing with her fingers, Wren wasn’t sure what else to say.

  “It seems I overstepped my boundaries when I cornered you about marrying my son. The bribery also wasn’t one of my prouder moments.” For the longest time she stared off into space. When next she spoke, her voice was raspy, a
s if she held back tears. “But you have to understand that this baby you’re carrying represents a part of my husband. A man I loved to a degree I’d never dreamed possible. The thought of you bringing this precious child into the world, and me never getting to see him or her, well…” Cash’s mother no longer bothered trying to hide her pain. “I—I know you and my son hardly know each other, but if you could just find it in your heart to let Cash in, I’m sure…”

  Wren stood. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Buckhorn, but I can’t do this. Cash and I have already told you we have no intention of marrying, and for you to press the issue is upsetting.”

  “The idea of you taking off halfway across the country with my grandchild is abhorrent.”

  “Again, I’m sorry. It’s not my intention to keep this baby from you. You’re welcome to visit any time you like.”

  “It’s not the same as if you and the baby lived with Cash. If you won’t marry, would you consider staying in Weed Gulch?”

  Hands over her womb, Wren struggled for words.

  How did she begin explaining to her child’s grandmother why she needed to keep her distance? Yes, back in Baltimore she had her residency, but technically, she could complete that in almost any large city. As much as she craved family, a part of Wren feared it—not having her own baby, but the notion that if she were to one day marry, her husband’s folks might not find her worthy of their son. If that happened, what if he abandoned her just as her parents had? Her heart couldn’t bear finally finding people with whom she could find a home, only to lose them. It would be unfathomably cruel. Which was why Wren had long ago decided never to entertain the thought.

  Chapter Six

  “Daddy says you’ve got a baby in there.”

  Wren had made slow progress on the short walk back to Cash’s house, only to encounter the look-alike girls she’d first met that afternoon in the Buckhorn dining room.

  “I think it’s a girl baby.” Betsy, the one wearing a purple My Little Pony shirt, performed a pirouette on the driveway.